Yesterday, I decided that I must become more physically fit. So I grabbed one of my many fitness DVDs (all purchased on sale from Amazon) and went to work. This one was Ballet Conditioning. Portions of the DVD required a chair for balance.
Elmo, stupidest kitty in all the land, planted his fat ass in the chair and engaged in a variety of activities to keep me motivated while I tried to keep up with the skinny ballet bitch.
First, when I put my hand on the chair for balance, he would immediately swat at it and assume we were playing. When the hand stayed, he upped his game to licking. (He does not have an ordinary tongue and it was hard to hang on to the damn chair.) Then, when I still wasn't playing right, he began chewing on my hand. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with skinny ballet bitch when there is a 14 lbs. hairless white moron hanging onto your hand by his teeth and/or claws? He eventually grew bored to my non-participation and decided to chase my feet.
Eventually, he too grew tired from the workout and, instead of going to his snuggie nest on the couch, he sat on the chair. Elmo did not realize that I had to exercise both sides of my body, so I had to keep moving the chair. Because Elmo is so dumb, he never realized that each time, he would be moved again, so he would just climb back in the chair, make a cat croissant and try to get some sleep. But then I'd be there again, moving the chair.
Of course that means that I want to play again! What else could it mean. So back to swatting and biting he went. Fortunately, the tape wasn't that long, so my torture didn't last forever. I can't wait to see how he reacts when I do my cardio ballroom workout with Julianne Hough later this week.
This morning, The Boy was working out and he was doing push ups. Elmo came into the workout room, climbed onto his back and sat down.
I think he may be trying to tell us that he wants to be a personal training.
