Over the past 8 years, my migraines have, for the most part, been under control. I get them once in a while, but it is nothing major and I can usually take an imitrex when I notice the aura and then go to sleep.
Last week, I got one that knocked me on my ass. I was so nauseated that I needed to leave work early. I got another one on Friday afternoon. I managed to get through a meeting without throwing up on any of my colleagues, but I left shortly after that. Honestly, I thought the two migraines were related to my lady business and would go away after that.
Today, I got one of the worst migraines I can remember. As bad as the ones I got in high school and college. I was moderately convinced that I was having a stroke at one point. My eyes wouldn't focus. I had double vision. I was shaking. I was nauseated. Of course, I started to panic and it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was scared driving home.
Once I got home, I made the room as dark as possible, which is virtually impossible. Unless I wanted to hide in the toilet room in the master bath, every accessible room has a damn window. Big ones. Enormous windows with too much light. And that wasn't comfortable to lay on and it's cramped for even me.
It took forever for the vision issues to clear up. Then the pain came. The pain was hell. Pure, utter hell. Like being stabbed above my left eye. A pain that is all too familiar, even though I haven't had to experience it for years.
I've gotten used to fibro in all of its forms. I've gotten used to muscle pain and the feeling of walking through mud just to get upstairs. I've gotten used to not wearing beautiful shoes because I have too much fibro pain from the heels.
I have also gotten used to not getting migraines. Particularly, debilitating migraines like these. Three in a little more than a week scares the shit out of me.
I am going to see the neuro who did my MS testing tomorrow. I also called my beloved Dr. Garcia and it may be related to the Provigil. Great. The one medicine that cuts through the brain fog so that I can think clearly through the medicine haze in the morning.
Oh, and here's a fun one - after I got the second migraine on Friday, I called my ob/gyn because I thought it was related to my lady business. She asked if I get migraines with aura. I said yes. She said that they don't recommend putting women who get migraines with aura on any type of hormonal birth control. Interesting since I was told by her to go off of the pill and to get the Mirena specifically because of my migraines. She knew that I got migraines with aura then. She said that there is an increased risk for stroke. Fantastic.
I am dealing with a lot of other stress right now and the resurgence of the migraines has shaken me. I am really scared and I don't want to deal with this again. Not with everything else. I have clearly done something very bad to deserve this on a karmic scale.
I just want to be well. I've spent a fortune trying to get there. I'm only 33. I feel like a broken old lady.
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