If you are one of my three steady readers, you probably noticed that I took the site down for a few days. I had the internal battle that many bloggers go through about being private and, yet, through the blog, putting it all out there for the public to see. And, a particular concern, having no control over who sees it.
I have become more conscious of what is positive and negative in my life. Unfortunately, there was a constant nagging source of negative. I let it simmer for far too long and it finally boiled over. The particulars are stupid and seem juvenile, but it all comes down to the same thing - I will not continue to feed into the negativity. I do not want toxic sources in my life. The most important realization is that only I can determine what is positive or negative to me. No one else can make that decision. No one else can pressure me into feeling a different way. This isn't a campaign. It is my life and I will choose how to live it.
That being said, I thought I should put up a shield. Guard myself. Be more private. Then, I thought about it. I realized that this was dumb. Why on earth would I dare think that I need to change anything about who I am or how I want to live my life because of negative sources? It's sad that I even entered into that mindset for a second.
So I'm back. I've been feeling negative a lot over the past week. I'm done with that. I am here to live my life to the best of my ability. I will take care of me and do what is right for me. I will not act out of guilt. I will not act out of duty if it is going to cause me pain or even a moment of self-doubt. Not going to live that way.
If people don't like my decisions, it is up to those individuals to deal with it. People make their own decisions and then live with the consequences. That is what I'm doing. That is what everyone on earth should do. Stop blaming and making excuses. I do what is right for me. You do what is right for you.
Good for you! I'm glad you are back :-) I've been a happy blog stalker for several months now, and would have been sad if you went private.
Posted by: Kate | June 21, 2009 at 12:25 AM
Do what's right for you. I am so glad you are back - I miss reading your blog with my morning coffee.
Posted by: Jo Ann (Caffeine free in Philly) | June 21, 2009 at 07:46 AM
Right. Negative people suck. They have no power over you. Nice post. :-)
Posted by: Stef | June 21, 2009 at 08:53 AM
Awesome post! I'd be totally pissed at you anyway for changing one bit - behold the awesomeness!
Posted by: Tina | June 21, 2009 at 08:01 PM