My 2009 Health State of the Union Address

Last year, in early January 2008, I was at the end of my rope.  My fibromyalgia was beginning to interfere with my ability to function.  By the end of the day, I could barely walk up the steps to the bedroom without wincing.  So I made a resolution to get my health in order in 2008.  I did this by beginning treatment at the Las Vegas FFC.  In February and March 2008, I felt like a different person.  Better than I had in a decade.  Then, through some treatment mishaps with a former doctor, things went downhill.  Most of the fall of 2008 was spent in a depression downward spiral.  I started seeing a new doctor at the FFC and we made some changes to my treatment plan. 

By early December 2008, I was running on empty again.  Work was insanely hectic and my grandmother was dying on the opposite side of the country.  To say that I was stressed would be an understatement.  The stress took its toll in many ways.  My health deteriorated.  I was always one step away from weeping hysterically.  I stress shopped my way into more debt.  I stress ate comfort foods (carbs, carbs, carbs) that I know aren't good for me, given my medical history.

When I went to see my doctor when I returned from California, I told her everything.  The problems I was experiencing were different than those that I have dealt with previously.  But a few things were obvious - my thyroid was not functioning properly (I had been weaned off of thyroid and adrenal gland meds in the fall).  I had another raging systemic candida infection.  And, if you want to talk about hot, let's talk about getting a cold sore on YOUR NECK.  As if a cold sore on your lip isn't enough, I got one on my neck and one on my chin during this period.

I am on a new thyroid medication that doesn't make me feel like I am having a heart attack.  I am on a super anti-fungal to treat the yeast.  Getting rid of the yeast also means that I have to modify my eating, which I am really trying to do, but I am a sugar freak (which is how I got into this situation in the first place with the yeast residing in my belly).  Treating the Epstein Barr has taken the backburner for now because I have to get the thyroid and yeast under control. 

I am functioning pretty well right now.  My fibro pain is nowhere near what it used to be.  I am generally sleeping okay (for me, not a normal person).  I don't get fatigued as quickly as I used to.

But...  (there's always a but) I am having an especially hard time dealing with my body.  Between the yeast and the hypothyroid, I am at the highest weight I've ever been.  I don't recognize my body.  I'm carrying so much weight.  It doesn't seem to matter what I eat right now.  Weight just stays high.  Given the events of November and December, I can't say I've been exercising.  For five weeks, I lived in the office and then in a hotel room in LA.  Then I went to Jersey and ate delicious Wawa sandwiches for ten days straight (I know the yeast loved all of that refined flour and white bread).  That is going to stop.  I am going to find a way to incorporate walking into my routine, just as long as it doesn't affect the fatigue.  (My doctor has repeatedly told me not to push myself just because I am having a good day.  Pushing myself can lead to three bad days and the trade off isn't worth it.)

My doctor said that I can't worry about the weight right now.  But it is hard not to.  I don't like looking like this.  I am, quite simply, a lard ass.  I know that I need to give the meds time to kick in and then I should be able to shed the 15 lbs pretty easily, but ugh.  This just sucks.  My self esteem is, let's just say, not so good. 

I am being patient.  I am going to listen to the doctor.  I am going to try not to worry about this.  I am cutting out the refined crap that feeds the yeast.  I am doing well with this thyroid med.  (11 more days of baby doses and then I will be up to the therapeutic dose.)  I am going to exercise.  I am going to recognize myself again.  This is just a bump in the road. 

Here's to continuing to get healthy in 2009.  The ongoing mother of all resolutions.

Comments

[Jo Ann (Starving in Philly)]

Don't worry about weight. If you are even moderately active, you will lose it. When I quit smoking, I gained 20 pounds even though the medical gods told me I should gain only about 10. Well, I'm an overachiever in the weight department. I'm still losing the weight, but I am losing it. I'm 20 years older than you and weight tends to stubbornly stick to middle aged asses so..... if I can lose the weight, then it's not impossible for you. Take care of the medical issues first, then worry about the weight. Just remember, sweetie, to keep an eye on your blood pressure, which can go up with weight gain. You don't need more problems.

I'm rooting for you!!!

[babs m]

As someone who's traveling this fibro road as well, I wish you the best of luck!! You're inspiring me to take control of my own life. :)